Lonely People

Last night I visited with the stars. We met at the old playground and listened to music as I stared at their unfamiliar constellations. My back felt the cool, damp wood with each breath of sea breeze I took. “Hello stars,” I whispered into the night air. Palm branches swayed to the rhythm of my song as the clouds passed between us like ghosts lit by moonlight. It was then I realized I envied their stationary brightness. Stars are simply stars. They glow. I, on the other hand, feel far from any sort of “simply.”

I’ve now listened to “Eleanor Rigby/Julia” a minimum of eight times straight. I have yet to fully comprehend what Father McKenzie’s deal is, or why Julia is featured in the song title, but I feel sorry for Eleanor Rigby. I wish I could have been her friend. Then I would have been at her funeral. And about the lonely people--I know where they come from. I’m one of them.

Everyone is lonely for something, or someone. We’re in constant search of fulfillment, a cause to fight for, a purpose--for our own needs as well as others, as if to say, “I belong in this place.” Rob Bell said, “Some people are looking for a fight because they aren’t in one.” I don’t want to be like that. I want to stand for and love things for what they mean to me, truly. As cliché as this may sound, I’ve had a need to “find myself” for a long while now. I want to have an opinion without being influenced by someone else. I want to write without worrying what other people will think. I want to live outside connections and past relationships. I wish to live my life, not for the sake of anyone, not to impress other people who are lonely themselves, not by competition, but for me and for my God. I need to let go.

So this is me as simply as I can be, fully Jaimie Nicole Myaing, no outside influences: I’ve decided I like to paint. You may not call me a painter, but I like it, so I will do it. I also like to draw. I have a sketchbook and the paper doesn’t judge me. I danced under the moon tonight. My skirt made like a flower as I twirled. Dancing has always been freeing for me. Poetry. I am in love with it and will someday create a book that will be home to my poems. I have, as of a few months ago, cared quite a bit for the earth. We should take care of it. Not as a fad to “live green,” but seriously. Speaking of earth, I love to explore its vast lands and discover its many cultures. Traveling is beyond one of the best things I’ve experienced. They say I should be into politics--I’m not. I may be the furthest thing from a musician, but I am more and more a lover of music. I hold pride in my heritage and wish and pray for peace in Burma, as well as peace for all the lonely people in our very lonely nation. I fancy the idea of someday joining the Peace Corps. As of yet, I have no idea what my next step in life is and as of yet, I’m very okay with that.

These are the things I care about, the things I love, and the things I hope for. I am a poet, a painter, a dancer, lover of music, caretaker and traveler of earth, in waiting of peace.

So where do the lonely people, like you and me, belong? We belong here--continually searching for good, in pursuit of peace, in constant practice of love, as proclaimed individuals, hopefully without a need to impress.

Letting Go.